The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us. The trees wave and the flowers bloom in our bodies as well as our souls, and every bird song, wind song, and tremendous storm song of the rocks in the heart of the mountains is our song, our very own, and sings our love.

Love is fed by the imagination, by which we become wiser than we know, better than we feel, nobler than we are: by which we can see life as a whole and by which alone we can understand others in their real and their ideal relation. Only what is fine, and finely conceived can feed love. But anything will feed hate.

For her I changed pebbles into diamonds, shoes into mirrors, I changed glass into water, I gave her wings and pulled birds from her ears and in her pockets she found feathers, I asked a pear to become a pineapple, a pineapple to become a lightbulb, a lightbulb to become the moon, and the moon to become a coin I flipped for her love.

They loved each other, not driven by necessity, by the “blaze of passion” often falsely ascribed to love. They loved each other because everything around them willed it, the trees and the clouds and the sky over their heads and the earth under their feet. Perhaps their surrounding world, the strangers they met in the street, the wide expanses they saw in their walks, the rooms in which they lived or met, took more delight in their love than they themselves did.

When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.

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Respect in marriage is not a luxury; it is a necessity. How can you show that you respect your mate?

THE CHALLENGE: The husband says: “When we got married, my wife and I had different views on what it meant to show respect. Not that one view was right and the other was wrong—they were just different. I often felt that my wife should have been more respectful in the way she spoke to me.” 

The wife says: “Part of the culture in which I was raised included speaking loudly, using dramatic facial expressions, and interrupting when others were speaking. We didn’t view that as disrespectful. But that’s a completely different atmosphere from the one in which my husband was raised.”

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW: Men have a particular need for respect. The Bible tells husbands: “Each one of you must love his wife as he does himself.” But then it adds: “The wife should have deep respect for her husband.” While both wives and husbands need to feel loved and respected, husbands especially thrive on respect. “Men need to feel that they can handle situations, solve problems, and take care of the family,” says a husband named Carlos.When a wife respects her husband for such capabilities, she benefits not only her husband but also herself. “My husband actually shows his love for me more when I show that I respect him,” says a wife named Corrine.

Of course, wives need respect too. That makes sense because a husband cannot truly love a wife whom he does not respect. “I need to respect my wife’s opinions and suggestions,” says Daniel. “I also need to respect her emotions. My not understanding why she feels a certain way does not mean I can dismiss how she feels.”

Respect is in the eye of the beholder. The issue is, not whether you think you show respect, but whether your mate feels respected. This is a lesson learned by the wife quoted at the outset under the heading “The Challenge.” “Even if I didn’t think I was being disrespectful, if I made my husband feel that I was, then I was the one who needed to change.”

WHAT YOU CAN DO: Write down three things that you admire about your husband or wife. The admirable traits that you identify can be the foundation upon which to build respect. For one week, track your conduct (not that of your spouse) in the following areas:Your words. One study of couples found that “spouses in happy, stable marriages made five positive remarks for every one negative remark when they were discussing conflict. In contrast, couples headed for divorce offered less than one (0.8) positive remark for every single negative remark.” Ask yourself: ‘Do I speak respectfully to my mate? How often do I criticize compared with how often I give a compliment? What is the tone of my voice when I have an observation or a complaint?’ Would your spouse agree with your answers? Try this: Set a goal to give your husband or wife at least one compliment per day. Suggestion: Look back at the admirable traits you identified earlier. Get into the habit of telling your mate what you admire about him or her.

Your actions. A wife named Alicia says: “I spend a lot of time doing housework, and when my husband respects my efforts by picking up after himself or washing his own dishes, I feel that my efforts are worthwhile and that I am important to our marriage.” Ask yourself: ‘Does the way I treat my spouse clearly convey my respect? Do I give my spouse adequate time and attention?’ Would your spouse agree with your answers? Try this: Write down three ways that you would like to be shown respect. Have your mate do the same. Then exchange lists so that each of you can work on showing respect in the areas that were specified. Focus on your own need to show respect. When one takes the lead, the other is likely to follow.
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WHAT kind of security should a man provide for his wife? Many people are raised to believe that a husband’s primary goal is to help his family to be financially secure. However, some wives who have plenty of material things still feel emotionally insecure—even terrified. A Spanish woman named Rosa, for example, says about the man she married, “With outsiders he was a likable man, but at home he was a rough husband.” Joy, who is from Nigeria, admits, “When I didn’t agree with my husband, he would say, ‘You have to do everything I say because I am your husband.’” How can a man fulfill his role as a husband in a loving way? What does it take for a husband to make his home secure, “a resting-place” for his wife?

Although husband and wife have an equal standing, each spouse has a distinct role in the family. It's clear that a married woman comes under "the law of her husband." Just as many institutions appoint a head to oversee their affairs, husbands have been appointed by God to be head over their wife's. Husbands should take the lead in their household. But as husbands, how should you exercise your authority? "Continue to love your wives."

Learn from experienced couples. Successful husbands always try to seek to refresh others and lighten their load. One of the best ways to imitate these fine examples and apply them is by looking for ways to lighting your wife's load. Some wives feel as did Rosa, who lamented: " I was nothing more than my husband's maidservant." In contrast, a man named kweku, who has a good marriage, says: " I often ask my wife how I can share the load. Because I love her, I often take the initiative to help her with household chores."

Husbands need to do everything possible and maintain a considerate and empathetic attitude.When your wife does not feel well, show her extra consideration and be patient. Try to relate to her and understand her reactions. Ricardo, for example, explains, “When I notice that my wife is extra sensitive, I make a special effort to avoid saying things that could make her feel worse.”

Communicate more often with your wife, even though sometimes you might want to take some moments to stay alone.Communicate—from your mind and heart—with your wife. A woman may complain that her husband seems to have no trouble speaking in public but keeps silent at home. On the other hand, note how Ana feels when her husband opens up to her. “I sense that he really loves me,” she says, “and I feel close to him.” Refuse to use silence as a weapon to punish your wife. “When my husband was upset with me,” says one woman, “he refused to talk to me for days. He made me feel guilty and despised.” Edwin, however, tries to imitate good examples. “When I get annoyed, I don’t respond right away, but I look for the right moment for us to talk things out.”Still looking for a wedding photographer? Just contact us! Our managers will help you with all your questions and will create the most suitable packages for you. Our team consists of professional photographers and videographers. So if you want affordable wedding photography for affordable prices, just book our services.

"Teamwork means that you are pilot and copilot with the same flight plan."

When there is teamwork in a marriage, a husband and wife are like a pilot and copilot with the same flight plan. Even when challenges arise, each spouse thinks in terms of “we” rather than “me.”

Why does it matter? It matters because when a conflict arises, a husband and wife who are not a team will tend to attack each other rather than the problem. Minor issues will turn into major obstacles.

“Teamwork is the essence of marriage. If a couple weren’t a team, they would be roommates instead of marriage mates​—two people who live together but who aren’t on the same page when it comes to important decisions.”

TIPS: Imagine a tennis match with the two of you on opposite sides of the net. Instead, what practical steps can you take to join your spouse so that you are both on the same team? Instead of thinking, ‘How can I win?’ think ‘How can we both win?’ “Forget about who is right and who is wrong. That isn’t as important as having peace and unity in your marriage.”

TEST YOURSELF: Do I view the money I earn as “all mine”? To relax fully, do I need to be away from my spouse? Do I keep my distance from my spouse’s relatives, even though he or she is close to them? DISCUSS WITH YOUR SPOUSE: In what aspect(s) of our marriage do we work well as a team? In what aspect(s) could we improve? What steps can we take to improve our spirit of teamwork?

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Once it is decided that a couple will marry and that the marriage will conform to the laws of the land, what practical matters must be considered? Among these are the date and the type of wedding ceremony desired,'The Preparations.'

“It may be that the couple’s ideas do not fit exactly with those of the parents, and they may feel torn between choosing exactly what they want and following the family traditions,” What can be done? “There are no easy solutions to this, except to listen tactfully, talk problems through, and compromise. It is an emotional time for everyone, and a little forethought and understanding will go a long way to making the arrangements easier.”

Although loving parents can do much to ensure the success of the day, they should resist the temptation to impose their own wishes. On the other hand, though final decisions will be made by the bride and groom, they should listen to well-intentioned advice.

Preparations include various activities, from sending invitations to organizing the reception.There will be errands to run and guests to entertain. Can friends or family make themselves available to help? Could some of the things that the bride and groom do not necessarily have to do themselves be delegated to other responsible ones?“The more orderly this preparation is, the more foresight and planning are applied, the less will be the fatigue and tension, and even under the best circumstances,there may be some fatigue, and it is sensible to make every reasonable effort to minimize it.”

A reasonable budget is essential. It is not reasonable or loving to expect a couple or their parents to go into debt to pay for a wedding that is beyond their means. Many who can afford a more elaborate wedding still choose to keep it modest. In any event, some couples have found it helpful to have a checklist for estimated and actual expenses. It can also be useful to have a list of deadlines for all the things that need to be organized. Entrusting deadlines to memory is very likely to be stressful.How much will the wedding cost? Prices differ from place to place, but wherever you live, it would be wise to ask yourselves: ‘Can we afford all the things we have planned? Are they really necessary?’ Experience has shown that,“Some things that seemed ‘indispensable’ at the time turned out to be unnecessary.” If you cannot afford everything you would like, eliminate something. Even if you can afford more, you may still want to keep things simple.

Emotions on the big day can range from euphoria to tears for the couple and guests.The joy will be so great, that it will seem just like a dream come true. Also,When parents observe their child leaving the family nest, they may experience a mixture of joy, pride, nostalgia, and trepidation.To make the occasion pleasant and upbuilding, parents—just like the bride and groom—need to display the fine qualities of cooperation, calmness, unselfishness, and tolerance.They should all try not to lose their sense of humor in the face of difficulties, and keep a positive outlook. Should something go amiss, remember that in years to come, you may laugh about it as you tell the tale. Do not let minor mishaps mar the joy of the wedding itself.

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Family and friendships are two of the greatest facilitators of happiness.

A home with a loving and loyal couple are the supreme setting in which children can be reared in love and care and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met.

Always learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and treasured.

Life changes when you have a child, when you have your own family. You become more careful about what you do. You're not going to be out late, going out to clubs, hanging out with your friends. You're going to be at home, taking care of your daughter, playing with her.

If you come from a solid family structure, it doesn't matter what you go through in your life. You're going to be okay.

My advice: Take a second out of the day today and be thankful for your family and enjoy every moment you spend with your family.We surely hope you enjoyed our tips for a happy family setup.

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